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Dry by ~eikaj:iconeikaj:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


Between now and yesterday
I have dry hands
     from washing too many times
     from washing my past out of my skin

And although dead skins cells
have hit the bottom of the sink
and flowed down to the sewers,
     I can still smell you under my nails,
     in the wrinkles of my knuckles.

Dry hands remember
like it was yesterday,
     their smoothness tucked
     between your rough fingers.

This is what it felt like
     smooth-skinned.
     Yesterday.
©2008-2009 ~eikaj
:iconeikaj:

Author's Comments

a bit of rambling in my journal the other day.

about no one in particular.


I keep trying to rub you out,
and still i want to keep you.

Comments


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:icondragutzza:
~DragutzzA Jun 19, 2008, 5:37:40 AM
this describes exactly how i feel..

--
Run your fingers through my soul. For once, just once, feel exactly what I feel, believe what I believe, perceive as I perceive, look, experience, examine, and for once, just once..understand... [link]
:iconeikaj:
~eikaj Jun 19, 2008, 10:11:55 AM
poetry always has a way of reaching out.

thank you for your comment

--
eikaj
:hug: :glomp: everyone needs hugs
:iconwh0rem0ans:
~wh0rem0ans Jun 19, 2008, 12:19:20 PM
Ideas:
"My hands are dry
and I remember like it was yesterday,
smooth and tucked in your palm
between you rough fingers."
maybe:
"Dry hands remember like it was yesterday,
their smoothness tucked
between your rough fingers."
I know what you mean but this is awkward, to me. What I wrote is not so much better as different. Maybe I want to feel it from the hands' point of view?
Plus, should 'you' be 'your'?

--
Let the beauty of what you love be what you do. There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the earth. (Rumi)
:iconeikaj:
~eikaj Jun 19, 2008, 1:51:59 PM
I do like yours better.
That stanza was awkward for me to begin with, and i think the palm part threw me off anyways.

I think i'm going to change it to what you have written, it flows a little better that way. but i may tinker with it some more. i had a couple other stanzas before that one, but they were really awkward and out of place.

thanks for your time in reading and commenting.

--
eikaj
:hug: :glomp: everyone needs hugs
:iconwh0rem0ans:
~wh0rem0ans Jun 19, 2008, 3:56:27 PM
perhaps you could try it from the hand's POV?

--
Let the beauty of what you love be what you do. There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the earth. (Rumi)
:iconeikaj:
~eikaj Jun 20, 2008, 7:36:20 AM
you meant the whole thing?

hrm that's interesting. i might try that out.

--
eikaj
:hug: :glomp: everyone needs hugs
:iconwh0rem0ans:
~wh0rem0ans Jun 20, 2008, 5:33:38 PM
Yes, the whole thing.

--
Let the beauty of what you love be what you do. There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the earth. (Rumi)
:iconkneelingglory:
=KneelingGlory Oct 17, 2008, 5:37:09 PM
Interesting and provocative image, but I think ~whoremoans has a good idea. Love to see you give it a shot ;)

--
*DailyLitDeviations | *Critique-It | =TheContestClub | *DailyDeviants

Not For Sale: Fighting Human Slavery
:iconeikaj:
~eikaj Oct 17, 2008, 6:38:52 PM
thanks!
i will eventually. i haven't much time to write poetry at all since the semester started

--
eikaj
:hug: :glomp: everyone needs hugs
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