First of all, shout out to my friend I met at camp, Colleen (sp?) since she's checking out my account, but doesn't have one herself.

secondly, this is something I wrote probably the beginning of the week, and thought I'd share it with my viewers. (plus the emote thingie at the bottom is not working, or else i would have posted sooner. so i'm not eager. right now i'm more like sore.)

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Currently, I feel compelled to discharge my mind. To stop writing and painting in metaphors. To stop thinking. I want to lose myself to movement, to body, to free-form. I want to stop living in the past, I want to lose myself in the moment, to the present. I want to be everything I want to be. Most of all I want to dance without caring about what you think.

I want movement, I want body, I want touching, I want everything about anything that is about the physical and not spiritual. ("nothing matters but the body" ~queenhrosie)

no this is not about sex

This is about living in the Now. Living with purpose set in the present, never the past-though perhaps the near future. This is about losing myself to impulses, to freedom. To do everything and anything, and still nothing.
I want to touch you, and touch myself, not because I like it, but because I want to scrap off your dead skin cells, and say that you have outgrown your skin, that you to fit better in your current skin, you need to get rid of the old.

I want to say a million different things to you, to him, to her, to everybody. I want to read out loud words that were never mine, but I will take and adopt as mine so it becomes an integrated piece of me. and yet, I want to say nothing at all. I want my body to say all these words, and more. I want to say _{iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou,} but never have them leave my mouth, my tongue, my teeth, never have vocal sounds.

from *wh0rem0ans

If I were a month I would be: August...the almost autumn-ness to it.

If I were a day of the week I would be: Wednesday. it's in the middle of the week...it's relaxing.

If I were a time of day I would be: morning. always the morning.

If I were a planet I would be: Jupiter, Saturn or Neptune. i can't decide

If I were an animal I would be: A Giraffe

If I were a direction I would be: Left

If I were a piece of furniture I would be: an old and loved sofa

If I were a liquid I would be: soy milk

If I were a tree I would be: a plum tree (the one outside my window. pink in the spring, maroon the rest of the year until the leaves blow off)

If I were a flower/plant I would be: Daffodil

If I were a kind of weather I would be: sunny with a light breeze, or really windy

If I were a musical instrument I would be: clarinet

If I were an emotion I would be: contentness

If I were a color I would be: yellow (or orange or red)

If I were a vegetable I would be: a carrot

If I were a sweet I would be: mint chocolate chip ice cream. that or yellow cake with or without icing.

If I were a car I would be: slug bug, or something just as small

If I were a song I would be: all we are by one republic, or konstantine by something corporate, or somewhere only we know by keane

If I were a book I would be written by: Amy Tan

If I were a food/drink I would be: soy milk

If I were a place I would be: the playground with a set of swings

If I were a cartoon character I would be: Toph from avatar

If I were a shape I would be: elipse

If I were a material I would be: paper

If I were a taste I would be: a salad with ranch dressing and crutons

If I were a word I would be: yestermoments

If I were an object I would be: window, or an open doorway

If I were a body part I would be: a nose or hands. or a belly button

If I were a facial expression I would be: a small smile

If I were a number I would be: seventeen

I'm letting go of all my fears.
You can no longer hold me back any longer.
I am releasing you.

I have pneumonia.

The world is collapsing, inside out.